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Getting our Planet into Perspective

Just for extra amusement, leave the captions on at the end.


Alien Report

AlienssmallNumber 2:  Reporting, sir!

Number 1: Yes Number 2?

Number 2: We’ve identified a candidate species.  Removal is projected to stabilize the climate, increase biodiversity, and halt various kinds of serious environmental degradation.

Number 1: Sentience?

Number 2: No significant telepathic or chromatic communication, no faster-than-light travel, and no ability to optimize their environment.  (Sir, [vibrates with disgust] they excrete into their water sources, and dump vast quantities of other waste products into the water, soil and air.)

Number 1: Bottom line?

Number 2: Mature individuals can breed at any time with minimal preparation.  Most of the flesh consists of high quality protein and fat.  It’s a little contaminated due the animal’s dirty habits but it can be cleaned up.  The skin can be treated and used as clothing and so on.  The eyeballs are particularly tasty and may turn out to be a highly profitable luxury item.  The females lactate, and we may be able to use some of the glands for perfume.

Number 1: So Number 2…, this is going to be a very profitable harvest.  :mrgreen: